Friday, May 20, 2011

It's the end of the world as we know it

According to Harold Camping's 2011 end times prediction, the rapture begins tomorrow May 21st at 6PM precisely. Pack appropriately and don't be late or you will miss the bus.

If you are not already marked as one of the 200 Million select pre-millennial Christians signed up for the rapture, please disregard the above notice - you are going to burn in the aftermath ... or you will be able to make your tee-off time at the club - the prediction is not really clear for the non believers. In any case the rapture is apparently scheduled for Saturday at 6PM so it will be very convenient for everyone to make it and not miss any work in case Mr. Camping is wrong... again.

If you ARE planning on being all rapture'd up and accepted into the heavenly fold on Saturday, it is not too late to take care of those you leave behind. You can always sign over the deed to your house to me and I will make sure it is appropriately used to house the sadly fallen remnants of this world. After all, you will not be needing it after 6:01PM Saturday anyway. That goes for your cars and bank accounts too. Really. Honest. I will make sure your no-longer-needed worldly possessions are well taken care of. Just write up a quick note saying that all your worldly possessions will be signed over to Tom Mairs as of May 22nd 2011, and send that with copies of your property deeds and vehicle insurance to Tom Mairs, Suite 341, 7620 Elbow Drive, Calgary, AB, Canada, T2V 1K2. Really, I promise.

Lou Reed's "Busload of Faith" plays in the back ground as I write this. Ominous?

I was recently in the Mayan Riviera and had a chance to talk with locals about the December 2012 predictions, end of the world issues, and misconceptions. Apparently Hollywood is good for business but they don't listen very well. I am looking forward the the sunset season of 2012 and the dawning of a new age as they have predicted. Quite frankly I am more apt to believe Mayan scholars over crackpots like Harold Camping. In the later case, I think there is a misinterpretation where "end of the world" should be read "end of the way we live". There is definitely something afoot in the universe, but I prefer to think it is a good thing, not the fire and brimstone version.

Of course Canadians have know about the end of the world for a while - just ask the boys of Great Big Sea. It's all a matter of perspective. Take a pill Harold, the world will still be spinning on Sunday so you can go to church and apologize to everyone. If I am wrong, ...well, ...it's been a great ride. :)


Be awesome. Change the world.

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