Exercising Demons

Hi.  My name is Tom and I am a writer.
I went cold turkey about 11 months ago on some advice I read about managing your demons.  It was bad advise.

My last post before this was December and I was closing out the year, reflecting and being philosophical. Shortly thereafter I read something somewhere about writers who tend to spend more time writing and ranting rather then "doing" anything actually useful.  After some introspection I decided I would drop writing as an active thing.  No more blog, no more deep posts, no more serious non-fiction.  I was going to focus on "doing" as opposed to "writing" - also known as thinking about doing.  I lasted a whole 11 months before falling off the wagon.

As it turns out, the writing part is actually the catalyst for the doing part and it took me a while to figure that out.  Like I said - bad advice.  I much prefer the advice of Will Wheaton on making life changes and the value of writing (and reading and other stuff).   Sadly, anyone I would turn to for advice - my mentors, coaches, would-be-sponsors - well, they are all writers too so I find no sympathy there. 

I am a story-teller.  It is what I do and denying it is just soul-crushing, it is just wrong.  While I tried to contain my need for literal expression, I was not successful at all and instead, it crept out in other ways.   Last week, a co-worker asked a simple question by email and I replied with a three-page diatribe on the proper use of the acronym for P.O.C.  Yesterday, I wrote a Facebook status update that was so long, it spilled over the edges of my 19" screen.  That one will likely become a more formal blog post at some point.  Another coworker commented that if I added up my business communications for the first half of November, I probably had already written the 50,000 words needed for the NaNoWriMo competition.   It is a sickness I am happy to surrender to.

I held back diligently during the Canadian election in October which was really really hard to do.  I restrained myself from commenting on yet another mass shooting or the one a day killing stat in the US.   I even  stopped myself from bursting with excitement when we finally got high-res photos of Pluto's moon Charon.   I will not apologize for being a science geek.

For what?  Nothing, that's what.  Holding back from expressing myself in written form did nothing to make the world a better place, nor did it help me focus on physically doing any more than I normally would.  In fact, the opposite happened - which in hindsight is obvious.  Writers are visual thinkers - they blurt out thoughts and emotions and chaos all over nice clean pieces of paper, permanently defacing them for the better.  Sometimes they are just words, but sometimes they bring people and ideas together.  Sometimes they stir up emotions and drive people into action.  Many times, they cause controversy and force people to express their own opinions just to counter yours.  Writing is good.  It is valuable.  It has meaning.

I am a writer.  I am a story teller.  I create worlds in my head and cast them out onto printed works for the universe to consume.  I generate controversy and conversation and I bring people together more then I tear them apart.  I am the physical engine at the business end of a pen.  My words inspire, challenge, examine, and thrill.  My thoughts are deeply consumed in the inner-workings of the human experience and I will not be swayed by political pressure to ignore a story screaming to be told.

Be Awesome.  Change The World.